I often find myself thinking, “Who is Megan Rowe? What do I want to be remembered for and defined by?” Well, here is a little bit about me.
I am a very passionate person. I love health and medicine and everything about these topics. In fact, I aspire to be a doctor one day. I have an amazing work ethic and I am determined in everything that I do. I am certainly organized and live in a world of structure. I am resilient, and I am positive about everything in my life. I am compassionate, outgoing, and authentic. I am a 4.0 GPA student at the University of Waterloo. I was a competitive dancer and am now a fitness and movement enthusiast. I am sure to move my body often, and with purpose. I am currently the President of the University of Waterloo Pre-Medicine. I am associated with various organizations on and off campus. Many people know my name, and it is for these positive reasons. I am a voice for those who I encounter, and many who I have not yet met. I have my dream job, and I get to help others daily as I spend my days coordinating a primary care clinic for the homeless population. I am an avid public speaker and an advocate for mental health and wellness. I have a popular blog and am now a published writer. I am a daughter, sister, friend, leader, and peer. And I am Bipolar.
This means that I have an illness characterized by extreme highs and lows; depressive and manic states. I am either on top of the world, or I don’t want to leave my bed. Sometimes however, I find myself in a state in-between, this is a grey area and is sometimes the darkest of them all. When I try to explain how this feels to people, I often compare it to running a marathon with one foot in a high-heel and the other in a slipper. Sometimes I am running this marathon daily for a month, two months, even three. Some days I am exhausted, and I have certainly felt defeated more times than I can count. I have been hospitalized, I have lost relationships, and I have done more reckless things than I would like to admit. When I have been reckless, I have emotionally harmed others and have caused damage that is unimaginable. I have had people whom I love, simply walk out of my life the moment that they find out my diagnosis. I am sure that I have lost opportunities when I have disclosed that I am Bipolar. However I live with the mentality that I would never want to work under someone who does not understand mental illness.
All these things have given me pain that I can not even begin to put into words. Yet, here I am today, living and thriving and completely aware of my actions. Although I will most likely be on medication for the remainder of my life, I am finally at peace with myself. I am learning forgiveness everyday, toward myself and toward those who have shown stigma.
For the first time in years I can actually say that I love myself, and that I am so very proud of everything that I have accomplished. I am so many amazing things, and yes one of those amazing and beautiful qualities is Bipolar.